careless & skippin' stone

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

end.

so i think im done with blogger.

http://mambomamba.livejournal.com/ instead.

as much as i wanted this month to be everything this whole year was not - it didnt happen that way. but i did gain perspective on a few things. like how i have to get my ass together and start applications and essays for college. and where on earth am i going to go. and things like that. although this year, i did spend more time with my grandparents and i dont know how much longer they will be around but just watching my grandmother butter her toast, work on crossword puzzles, clean her lenses and my grandfather feed the hummingbirds, its just one of those things where you watch and go 'this is how im going to remember you'.

also, uriell taught me the world is bigger than singapore. it is bigger than school and friends and my childish musings. you make things happen for yourself. you create your own experiences and you learn, through everything. i realise i must have been born under a constellation of lucky stars because i am continuously surrounded by inspiring, intelligent individuals.

Friday, November 21, 2008

P.S. dance is sooo mucho fun right now.

its okay this love weighs fifty men

20 march 07

best friends they argue all the time

you know it when they dont talk

you cool it with some lemon lime

and make up once they end their sulk.

best friends they hug you when you cry

you feel their warmth and comfort

you hold on to them and try

to do the same when they're hurt.

best friends you know that's what we'll be

50 years down when we're only left with dentures

we'll think about how we used to be

and sail through great adventures.

- amirah lychee

its hard learning to let go of a friendship with someone you thought you knew and could trust.

i will not go to the extent and say that i have lost a friend because i think, on some level, i will always be willing to rekindle the bond that was shared by x and i. its easy to lay the blame on x and say that he/she never really proved themself but then again, it takes two. i do not know what i did or said to have pushed x so far and to have made him/her so uncomfortable but i am sorry because it was never my intention to make him/her feel lesser. i know the things you have said about me and they are ugly. when i first saw/heard i could not imagine that you were capable of calling someone you were friends with, someone whom you hung out with so often, those names. you shocked me with the things you said and you shook the foundations of our friendship. i cannot comprehend that you know we do not believe your lies, yet you do it anyway. are we so unimportant? whatever your feelings towards me are, i hold no anger towards you because i forgive you. i really do. whatever direction you decide to take with your life, i hope somewhere along the way you learn the importance of honesty and trust in any relationship.

im sad to have to let go but this has made me so much more aware of how lucky i am to be surrounded by the most wonderful friends, to have people like ami, jas and koon to help me get by. and pj & kranji peeps & my dance girls who always make life a little more interesting. and finally abby, who is so amazing i cannot describe with words how lucky i know i am.

bittersweet.

Monday, November 17, 2008

heart of the matter

three things:

1. the tiny clock-man on my phone tells me its 1154. he massive suitcase at my feet is begging to be filled with more...stuff. there are a dozen or so things occupying my bed that i had so carefully organised with the intention of packing, so its probably not a good idea to crash my tired self and fall into deep slumber. so sick of squeezing tubes of unnecessary necessities into even smaller plastic bottles all for the sake of convenience.

2. there's dance tmr morning but i dont really feel like going since yixin isnt going to be there :( that and im really quite exhausted from constant worry-clouds that are hanging over me like freakin doldrums. too many things to do in too little time. hmm, sounds like school all over again. DOH!

3. i observed my boyfriend from across the table today and realised he looks like he's thinking hard about something important when he chews. he's an excellent liar because he told me he could control me with a very poker face. by control he meant ... i dont know, what did he mean? and he can't tell grape from pomegranate. here we go again baby.

forgot why i wrote this post but i do miss typing sentences (not that they make any kind of point) and not just monosyllabic replies on messenger to old timers i havent had a real conversation with in many months. i miss these people, but i really dont think talking online bridges any kind of distance at all. its not communication. to me. whatever, contradict me i dont care. might just delete this anyway.

P.S. OMG HOW ARE DAN AND ANDREW STILL IN THE RACE???? asdfghjkl;;; they have to be the 2 dumbest frat boys in the history of AR. oh god, ASU is shamed.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

junpei & i volunteered to perform at her pri sch for some recruitment thing and this is us practicing till late at the void deck behind my house. wow, fancy. blahh so tired but it was a success!

oh and dance was mucho fun today. for no reason at all other than there were no instructors around. ahem.

okay, and now for some good youtube.

OBAMANATORS vs. MCCAINIANCS

election dance off video. VERY COOL, PLS WATCH! one of the obamanators looks like abby. hahaha.

CHARLIE BROOKER

its all good but this one is particularly amusing.

enjoy!