hello world, im walking on sunshine now and i dont know why. ive got so much stuff to do but all i can think about is how good life is. i mean, its not, but right now, it is.. does that make sense? i did a lot better for my mid-years than i thought i would and i half cant believe the results i got are mine and half think i got what i deserved. in any case, im so thankful, thank you God, thank you universe. im so driven now to work my bum off for the next 9 weeks till promos. ahh, this train just ain't stoppin yet. the later half of this week was fun, koon and i spent the days pretty much laughing at ourselves and dance pracs were so intense this week it was very coolio.
ive been looking at schools all over and i read somewhere that monthly living expenses in college go up to like $2700. what the hell. where am i gg to get all that money, plus tuition plus texts plus plus plus so many other things? ai ya ya ya lets just focus on school now ana, please stop your meandering mind. yesterday was our last AP lecture and im gg to miss talking about existential angst. haha, how contradictory. AP means a lot to me, it made me think about my own existence and what kind of person i want to be. i have an idea and im still working on it and thats why i know i need to leave this place for a while after next year. i just need to be in an environment where im truly on my own and i need to prove to myself that i can be independent and i can rely on myself. theres just so much to learn and i cant do that here, what with all the comforts i have and the mindset im in right now i guess is a hindrance too. oh, whats with all this i-dont-want-to-be-an-adolescent-anymore-i-want-emancipation and why has it hit me so hard these past few months. its an obnoxious thought that lingers on no matter what.
i havent been writing very much and im quite sad about that, cyril wong would scoff. keep trying to come up with something prolific but uhh...not happening.
okay, thats all, i just wanted to let you people know im not floundering in a sea of spare parts and broken hearts anymore. that doesnt mean im over anything, im just swimming away from it all towards dry land.
im off my sorry ass and kicking back.
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